Counting Sheep Sauvignon Blanc

Well, so begins a Friday night! The aim: too review everything I drink, should be awesome!

Due to the nature of mobile posts; tonight will probably be full of shorts, but I hope you enjoy anyway.

This bottle was great. Fruity and easy to drink a perfect starter for the night ahead.

On the bottle it claims “classically structured with lashings of tropical fruit and herbaceous lift”. To my unsophisticated pallet I could taste the fruit with ease, perhaps not the herbs.

It was crisp and clean with a pleasant aftertaste. Picked up for $10 it seems like a great addition for anyone interested in delving past moscato into white wine territory.

This seems like a fairly common brand, and one I am interested in pursuing further.

Taste: 7/10
Price: 7/10
Purpose: 7/10

Overall 7/10. A nice solid choice that lends itself to lazy afternoons and food with friends. Recommended.

Rosemount Estate 2012 Cabernet Merlot

Rosemount Estate 2012 Cabernet Merlot. Rated 5 Stars, this better be amazing.

So on the bottle; “grape varieties from different regions are blended together to make an ‘easy-drinking’ bright and fresh style of wine, skillfully balanced and full of ripe, fruit flavours”

Firstly, the scent: Deep and Rich, just like a Cab Merlot should be. You can slightly smell just a hint of berries, perhaps even black cherry.

The first sip slips into my mouth, warm (as expected) and ever so slightly acidic. Full of flavour, The texture almost like chocolate. You can really taste the effect that fruit has had on this wine. So very drinkable – I find myself wanting to polish this glass off post haste, just so I can jump into the rest of the bottle. I imagine this wine would compliment a very strong tasting food, roast beef springs to mind.

Oh I missed some additional text on the back “Our Rosemount Blends Cabernet Merlot is the perfect balance between the elegant black currant flavours of Cabernet and the deep dark plum of the Merlot. Full-flavoured, rich and smooth. Ideal to enjoy with pasta, lamb or beef”. (as usual; slightly bullshit. Have you ever tasted a “deep dark plum”? Possibly something Idris Elba grows in his backyard)

Overall though I agree with the labeling, this is drinkable. Its also fairly alcoholic! at 8 standard drinks per bottle you could get very sloshed very quickly.

The price was reasonable, $9 a bottle from the larger bottle shops. Very affordable for a fun night on the plonk. My main pique is that half the words in the blurbs are italics. It really looks stupid. If you have a great product there should be no need to fuck about with crazy typography. In general its fairly well labeled, reusing the “soft and smooth” over and over again. I guess they think, we should think its Soft & Smooth. (inside my head this becomes a lecherous voice, like an old man luring children into his van with candy; “come inside wine drinker, im all soft and smooooooooooth“)

Taste: 6/10

Price: 8/10

Alcohol Content: 8/10

Overall: 7/10

Cheap, does its job, and very drinkable. What else can you desire in cheap piss? Definitely recommended as an everyday bottle.

Nova Moscato (A.K.A WATER)

Nova Moscato, No year on the bottle. Looks interesting; tastes like bubbly water.

On the bottle; Is fresh vibrant and perfumed. The perfect wine for Australia’s ‘al fresco’ lifestyle with sweet fruity flavours and a light spritz” 4.7 Standard Drinks.

So, this stuff, as it says on the bottle, nice and sweet  – a little bit bubbly. Unfortunately its about as alcoholic as cat urine. As it says it is very drinkable. Soft on the pallet – tastes like drinking bubbly honey.

I really cannot imagine getting intoxicated on this stuff. It seems more suitable for someone perhaps used to cruisers and lollipops. Not to label something; but this really seems like something more designed for 18year old’s. It will not be reappearing on my wine list. Ever. 4 bottles of this MAY get me drunk, but the rate one would have to imbibe; just boggles the mind.

Taste: 3/10

Bubbles: 7/10 (not to many, just lightly frizzy)

Drinkability: 8/10 (drinks like fruitjuice)

Purpose: 1/10 (WARNING; THIS WILL NOT GET YOU DRUNK) (UNLESS YOU ARE WEAK)

Marisco 2011″Kings Favour” Sauvignon Blanc

Kings Favour, picked this up for one simple reason, the packaging looks fantastic. That might be slightly shallow of me. But hey, advertising works. Apparently now this is a discontinued line. Still, should be delicious!

After the disappointment earlier in the week, hoping to be impressed by the nice looking wine. Smelling light and fruity; it already seems like a much better idea.

Oh my, this is nice. The wine caresses the palate, luring you in for another drink. Fruity and light, with the slightest hint of melon this is a very fine drop. I find myself going back for more and more, its addictive! I really wish I could explain this wine with greater finesse, my palate just simply isnt mature enough to pick out the intricacies.

It’s very frustrating that lack of description, i keep running through ” fantastic, great, delicious” but these words are just not cutting the mustard.

Buy this, buy it now. For roughly $22 a bottle its very much a good buy.

Scent: 8/10

Taste: 8/10

Drinkability: 8/10

Price: 5/10 (I picked this up for $11, and for that its amazing, but a normal price of $22? methinks not)

Overall: 7/10 – Recommended.

Wirra Wirra 2011 Church Block

2011 Church Block – Completely and Utterly delicious.

I love Church Block. I love the back story, i love the taste, i love the feel against my tongue. I love how Ducking Frunk it gets me.

Anyway, Backstory; “Church block was the first wine the late Gret Trott produced under blah blah blah this shit is delicious” Essentially its a perfect blend of Cab Sav, Shiraz & Merlot. Combining the best of 3 grapes into a delicious everyday drinking wine.

First, the scent draws you in, luring you with its raw juicy Parfume. Then you notice the color, deep deep red; like marble dipped in chocolate. The first taste and you instantly recognize that this is a wine; of the people, for the people.  This is not a racist wine, this is not a sexist wine, this is a wine for any occaision.  It slips into your mouth like a lovers caress, slowly winding its way past your tonsils and then deep into the bowels of your well formed stomach.

Hours later you awaken, rough but thoroughly satisfied. How can anything made with grapes possibly be this good? Who cares? It is. The flavour is perfectly balanced. Smooth and Soft this is a wine that does not intend to be to rich, to sour, to full of tannin. Yet it somehow bonds into something uniquely delicious. It has complexity, yet is still approachable for the average uninformed wine drinker.

At between $20 and $25 a bottle. You really are unable to go wrong with this. Perfectly suitable for any event (know nothing about wine? Churchblock. Need a last minute gift for family? Churchblock. Need to impress a special someone? Churchblock). Although really what binds this together; every time you buy a bottle of Churchblock, you know what to expect: The greatest asset this wine has to its name is its consistency. Everytime, from any bottleshop, a quality product.

9/10

Wither Hills 2013 Sauvignon Blanc

Ahh Sauvignon Blanc, the first wine I ever tasted was a Sauvignon Blanc. I have good memories of that time. To bad this has ruined them.

I knew I was in for pain upon first glancing at the bottle; the label for this bad boy seemed a tiny bit bullshit, “Distinctly Marlborough, this 2013 Sauvignon Blanc captures the vibrant herbaceous, grapefruit and gooseberry characters of the region. Superb weight and elegance combine to complete a wine of remarkable fruit intensity and style”

I really hope whoever comes up with this drivel lives in a gutter somewhere, eating gooseberries and crying softly into his palms. That “description” (and I use the term loosely) is complete and absolute bullocks. Im sorry Mr. “Wine Describer” but this bottle of shit tastes NOTHING like herbs, it maybe MAYBE has a very distant relationship with grapefruit, and who has ever seriously tasted a gooseberry? You may as well say it tastes like fermented urine. At least that would be more accurate. (also, it smells horrible)

Price wise; $15 a bottle doesn’t seem too hefty, I guess that’s reasonable for something that is presented well and imported. No awards on the bottle (unsurprising) and a faint leaf for decoration around the label. God I love leaves.

This stuff is crisp (Wine Term!). Cannot stress this enough; Instantly my mouth was tingling. The front of my tongue was in agony, and my inner cheeks not much better. In hindsight swallowing was a bad idea. Perhaps I chose one of those rare wines you are meant to use as paint stripper by accident?

This wine seems to serve no practical purpose other than to bring out at dinner parties so your guests don’t get into the good stuff. I can say to its credit, after dealing with almost half a glass it seems to become more tolerable, or maybe that’s just my brain shutting down from to much pain.

Typically i drink everything in  the house (and hate to see booze go to waste), but this shit seems to belong down the sink.

Complete waste of space. Unsure why I even bothered to review?

1/10

Naissante 2011 Pinot Noir

Stolen From The Family

Introducing the Naissante 2011 Pinot Noir. (27$ a bottle, or free if stolen from family) This particular bottle of piss has been liberated from a relatives house, it was not picked by your humble author.

First; an introduction to Pinot Noir. According to the wonderful authors at Wikipedia, “Pinot Noir is grown all around the world, however it can be difficult to turn from grape to wine. While young they tend to have the aroma of berries; such as strawberry and raspberry. After aging they may develop a “Barnyard” aroma.” This is not promising, personally i do not believe I would enjoy drinking straw; but hey (see what i did there) let’s have a crack.

On the bottle; nothing specific about the wine, however “Naissante wines emphasize varietal character, elegant structure and natural balance”. Sounds like an amazing place. For $27 one would have preferred a rough outline before plunging in.

First Taste; After cleansing my palate with vodka and orange, I carefully breathe in the tantalizing aromas; it smells like red wine. Sour red wine.

After a sip, the wine instantly slams either side of the tongue with a faint sourness, not enough to wince, but very close. The tannin is surprisingly non-existent. Don’t get me wrong, the sides of my tongue are now numb. But overall I am almost instantly ready for a larger gulp. The warm after-burn has penetrated through the tar filled lungs and left a pleasant aftertaste in the mouth.

The second swig just gets better, with the already numb tongue you can really enjoy the wine to its fullest. Even though Pinot Noir grapes are reputed to have the aroma of a barnyard, I can happily say it has more of a Citrus vibe, only a slight one however.

In all seriousness, I was expecting this to be a horrible experience, however the Tasmanian wine makers have greatly surprised me with the drinkability of this expensive plonk. It is nowhere near as full-bodied as a Cab or a Merlot, yet still feels hefty in the glass and mouth.

Final Verdict; The bottle is quite drinkable, would go lovely with your standard red wine fare (Steak, Tomato based Pasta, and probably even Cheese) however realistically the exorbitant price makes this a no-go. If you can score a glass for free, dig in. Otherwise; please don’t waste your time.

3/10